Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Marriage is a Covenant Relationship

 (Originally published in The Daily Press, Religion Section, June 21, 2014)
Summer is the season of love and weddings. Isn’t it funny how romantic relationships begin?  We’ve all seen it in the movies; two people at the party catch glimpse of one another across the crowded room, their eyes lock in just as the music begins. Suddenly their hearts begin pounding, palms begin sweating; as if on cue, the crowd parts like the Red Sea making way for the handsome prince to advance toward his intended beauty. The next scene finds them beneath a starry sky walking hand in hand along the beach, waves crashing in the background. The music swells, they turn toward each other and embrace by the light of the moon, her long hair dancing perfectly in the splendor of the evening breeze. Together they stand in amazement intoxicated by the arrival of true love. . . Can it last?
Three main neurotransmitters are involved in the attraction stage; adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin. Dopamine stimulates desire and reward by triggering an intense rush of pleasure, having the same effect on the brain as cocaine.  Researchers generally agree that the feel good love cocktail will last anywhere from six to eighteen months.  So what keeps a couple together after the music fades, the clouds cover the moon and dopamine levels are replaced with reality?  
Proverbs 19:22 states that “what a man desires is unfailing love” and who wouldn’t want that? The Bible uses the phrase “unfailing love” thirty two times and not one of them refers to any source other than God, Himself.  Searching for unfailing love in anyone else is destructive and can only lead to disappointment. The only completely healthy love that exists is that of God. 1 Corinthians 13:8 says “love never fails”.  This love is talking about the agape love of God that is given to us and exercised through us by the power of the Holy Spirit. If you do not personally know the love of God, you don’t know real love.
The English language doesn’t do justice to the translation of love.  For instance, I can say I love my dog; my spouse; Italian food; the beach, but those types of love have varying meanings.  How can I love Italian food the way I love my spouse? The type of love we need in marriage is a covenant love, the love of God.
The culture has bred this idea that marriage is supposed to make us happy and if it doesn’t work out we can just divorce. But the truth is, happiness is a by-product of holiness.  The marriage relationship is intended to bring us into a greater state of holiness more than a state of happiness. Happiness is a by-product of holiness.
The Old Testament prophet Hosea in 2:19-20 speaks to Israel about restoring them to God. This is where we pattern our wedding vows in the church today. God’s Word Translation puts it like this: I will make you my wife forever. I will be honest and faithful to you. I will show you my love and compassion. I will be true to you, my wife. Then you will know the Lord.  

The marriage relationship is a place for the discovery of and revealing of Christ’s character in our lives.  It is a higher calling of sacred covenantal relationship that helps us trust God more fully, love him more dearly, and know him more intimately. And in the process, the marriage relationship grows down deep roots that can weather the storms of life, bringing greater intimacy to the marriage relationship, weaving a tapestry of God’s love through the generations to come, fulfilling the prophets words, and then you will know the Lord.

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