Summer is the
season of love and weddings. Isn’t it funny how romantic relationships
begin? We’ve all seen it in the movies;
two people at the party catch glimpse of one another across the crowded room, their
eyes lock in just as the music begins. Suddenly their hearts begin pounding, palms
begin sweating; as if on cue, the crowd parts like the Red Sea making way for the
handsome prince to advance toward his intended beauty. The next scene finds them
beneath a starry sky walking hand in hand along the beach, waves crashing in
the background. The music swells, they turn toward each other and embrace by
the light of the moon, her long hair dancing perfectly in the splendor of the
evening breeze. Together they stand in amazement intoxicated by the arrival of
true love. . . Can it last?
Three main
neurotransmitters are involved in the attraction stage; adrenaline, dopamine
and serotonin. Dopamine stimulates desire and reward by triggering an intense
rush of pleasure, having the same effect on the brain as cocaine. Researchers generally agree that the feel good
love cocktail will last anywhere from six to eighteen months. So what keeps a couple together after the
music fades, the clouds cover the moon and dopamine levels are replaced with reality?
Proverbs 19:22
states that “what a man desires is unfailing love” and who wouldn’t want that? The Bible uses the phrase “unfailing
love” thirty two times and not one of them refers to any source other than God,
Himself. Searching for unfailing love in
anyone else is destructive and can only lead to disappointment. The only
completely healthy love that exists is that of God. 1 Corinthians 13:8 says
“love never fails”. This love is talking
about the agape love of God that is
given to us and exercised through us by the power of the Holy
Spirit. If you do not personally know the love of God, you don’t know real
love.
The English
language doesn’t do justice to the translation of love. For instance, I can say I love my dog; my
spouse; Italian food; the beach, but those types of love have varying meanings. How can I love Italian food the way I love my
spouse? The type of love we need in marriage is a covenant love, the love of
God.
The culture has
bred this idea that marriage is supposed to make us happy and if it doesn’t
work out we can just divorce. But the truth is, happiness is a by-product of
holiness. The marriage relationship is
intended to bring us into a greater state of holiness more than a state of
happiness. Happiness is a by-product of holiness.
The Old Testament
prophet Hosea in 2:19-20 speaks to Israel about restoring them to God. This is
where we pattern our wedding vows in the church today. God’s Word Translation
puts it like this: I will make you my
wife forever. I will be honest and faithful to you. I will show you my love and
compassion. I will be true to you, my wife. Then you will know the Lord.
The marriage
relationship is a place for the discovery of and revealing of Christ’s
character in our lives. It is a higher
calling of sacred covenantal relationship that helps us trust God more fully,
love him more dearly, and know him more intimately. And in the process, the
marriage relationship grows down deep roots that can weather the storms of life, bringing greater intimacy to the
marriage relationship, weaving a tapestry of God’s love through the generations
to come, fulfilling the prophets words, and then you will know the Lord.
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