(originally published in the Daily Press Religion Section 12-20-14)
I
think
there must be something wrong with me, Linus,” said Charlie Brown. “Christmas
is coming, but I’m not happy. I don’t feel the way I’m supposed to feel … I
always end up getting depressed.”
Charlie Brown concludes that he must not understand the meaning of Christmas.
While Charlie Brown may not have known the meaning of Christmas, holiday depression may still occur for those that do. Reasons may include situations such as stress, finances, fatigue, family difficulties, loneliness or grieving.
Grieving is not just about the death of a loved one. It can include any type of loss, such as joblessness, broken relationships, a recent move just to name a few. All loss has an element of grief attached. During the holidays, any unfinished grieving can leak out and catch us by sad surprise.
In addition, what we desire most is to spend the holidays with those we love. When it is not possible this can overshadow our joy.
The other side of the same coin is that we can create unrealistic expectations for the holiday gatherings by anticipating “It’s a Wonderful Life” when in reality we get an episode of “Arrested Development.”
As we approach Christmas week, consider who and what shapes your thinking.
In speaking to a disciple, Jesus said, “You do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.” (Mark 8:33) Often temporary things can grab hold of our hearts and become our deepest desires. That’s not to say what has grabbed hold is necessarily a bad thing; good things can usurp the place of God in our lives, too. When that happens, eventually the weed of disappointment grows and a change of mind becomes necessary.
Seeking advice, Charlie Brown solicits Lucy, who can answer any question for five cents. She says, “I know how you feel about all this Christmas business, getting depressed and all that. It happens to me every year. I never get what I really want.”
Charlie Brown asks, “What do you want?”
Lucy retorts, “Real Estate!”
Lucy understands that much of what is exchanged at Christmas retains little value in the grand scheme of life.
Can you remember all the Christmas gifts you’ve opened over the years? Locating them is even more of a challenge. As you reflect back on Christmas past, you might remember particular special gifts, but likely what prevails are the memories, meaningful traditions and experiences. If anything, their value appreciates over time.
What experiences or traditions are meaningful to you? Christmas Eve is what I cherish most: family, candlelight service, Christmas lights, and the quiet reflection of our Savior’s birth with Rutter’s “Nativity Carol” dancing in my head.
A twinge of depression can enter for me on Christmas Day once all the presents are opened, it’s bare under the tree and everyone has gone home. I’ve come to learn that the emptiness I feel is my spirit yearning toward heaven.
Love came down at Christmas and entered into “time.” As a receiver of that gift, I no longer belong to this world. (John 15:19) After the holiday hoopla comes to a close, sometimes my spirit aches, wanting so much more of Christmas than the present age can offer.
As we live between the tension of the First Advent (what is), and the Second Advent (what is yet to come), it won’t always be a mountain top experience — at least not authentically. So, in those moments we can cry out: “Maranatha!” Charlie Brown.
The Rev. Heidi Summers is affiliated with Freedom in Christ Ministries, is a board certified pastoral counselor, board certified life coach and is currently completing her doctorate at Fuller Theological Seminary.
Charlie Brown concludes that he must not understand the meaning of Christmas.
While Charlie Brown may not have known the meaning of Christmas, holiday depression may still occur for those that do. Reasons may include situations such as stress, finances, fatigue, family difficulties, loneliness or grieving.
Grieving is not just about the death of a loved one. It can include any type of loss, such as joblessness, broken relationships, a recent move just to name a few. All loss has an element of grief attached. During the holidays, any unfinished grieving can leak out and catch us by sad surprise.
In addition, what we desire most is to spend the holidays with those we love. When it is not possible this can overshadow our joy.
The other side of the same coin is that we can create unrealistic expectations for the holiday gatherings by anticipating “It’s a Wonderful Life” when in reality we get an episode of “Arrested Development.”
As we approach Christmas week, consider who and what shapes your thinking.
In speaking to a disciple, Jesus said, “You do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.” (Mark 8:33) Often temporary things can grab hold of our hearts and become our deepest desires. That’s not to say what has grabbed hold is necessarily a bad thing; good things can usurp the place of God in our lives, too. When that happens, eventually the weed of disappointment grows and a change of mind becomes necessary.
Seeking advice, Charlie Brown solicits Lucy, who can answer any question for five cents. She says, “I know how you feel about all this Christmas business, getting depressed and all that. It happens to me every year. I never get what I really want.”
Charlie Brown asks, “What do you want?”
Lucy retorts, “Real Estate!”
Lucy understands that much of what is exchanged at Christmas retains little value in the grand scheme of life.
Can you remember all the Christmas gifts you’ve opened over the years? Locating them is even more of a challenge. As you reflect back on Christmas past, you might remember particular special gifts, but likely what prevails are the memories, meaningful traditions and experiences. If anything, their value appreciates over time.
What experiences or traditions are meaningful to you? Christmas Eve is what I cherish most: family, candlelight service, Christmas lights, and the quiet reflection of our Savior’s birth with Rutter’s “Nativity Carol” dancing in my head.
A twinge of depression can enter for me on Christmas Day once all the presents are opened, it’s bare under the tree and everyone has gone home. I’ve come to learn that the emptiness I feel is my spirit yearning toward heaven.
Love came down at Christmas and entered into “time.” As a receiver of that gift, I no longer belong to this world. (John 15:19) After the holiday hoopla comes to a close, sometimes my spirit aches, wanting so much more of Christmas than the present age can offer.
As we live between the tension of the First Advent (what is), and the Second Advent (what is yet to come), it won’t always be a mountain top experience — at least not authentically. So, in those moments we can cry out: “Maranatha!” Charlie Brown.
The Rev. Heidi Summers is affiliated with Freedom in Christ Ministries, is a board certified pastoral counselor, board certified life coach and is currently completing her doctorate at Fuller Theological Seminary.
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